Hello Friday

What Not to Do at Target

When I started to open the box of the new printer I purchased at Target I noticed it looked like it had been opened and re-taped. I had noticed it in the store too but it was the only remaining box of the model I wanted and I assumed even if it had been a returned printer Target would check it out before restocking it. Living up to my expectation the box I opened was missing one printer cartridge and the other was in a torn-open package and a used cartridge substituted.

Dreading the after Christmas return lines my son and I set out to Target to resolve this situation. Of course I could not find my receipt. Fortunately the sign I read while in the long line said no receipt was needed if I had the credit card I had used. As I watched returns in front of me being handled with customers fighting back, rolling their eyes and being treated like criminals I made up my mind to be as sweet as possible assuming the clerks were having a bad day. I was determined not to get angry if things did not go my way.

When my turn came and I shared the story I instantly was treated like a criminal. It was clear this woman did not believe my story and I was told that I could not return open boxes. Sweetly I persisted which ended up with her solicitation of a manger by phone that told her to tell me I could not return open boxes. After my sweet insistence the manager was solicited in person and I waited for ten... maybe fifteen minutes, as did the people in line behind me. Meanwhile the clerk stood by doing her nails and ignoring the other customers until this was resolved. A much-needed break I presume.

After my explanation to the manager, who again seemed to want to treat me like a convict, I was told the same thing again. Though screaming on the inside as she started walking away I gently asked her to come back for "one more quick question. " I'd like you to scan this box so I can prove to you it had been returned by someone else. It's not the money; it’s the principal. I bought a printer, which is missing parts. I'm happy to keep this printer but I need you to offer me the missing parts please. "I'm sorry sir, we DO NOT restock opened boxes ever, it’s against policy, and you cannot return this printer sir." I was dead in the water and about to get stuck paying for more items, which Target owed me. I was also powerless. Though I was ready to get angry on the outside and say something stupid like "I'll sue and own this place" (which I actually heard someone say to an airline once) I just said, " What would you do if you were me? I bought this for my wife for Christmas, it's missing parts, the box showed signs of being re-taped, my son and I drove all the way here, and all I want is what I paid for. What would you do?" At that point she snapped the box away from me and told the clerk, "give him a new printer." She then huffed off. Mind you, I remained calm and sweet the entire time. The clerk then rolled her eyes because her boss had now undermined what she had been told to do, at which time I received dagger eyes and that "you-customers-are-all-alike" kind of look.

Next I was told to go to the back of the store, get a new printer and come back to the returns desk. I found several printers but all but one were in what appeared to be previously opened and re-taped boxes. In order to save another trip to the store, before I left the department I asked the man at the desk if I would need a printer cable, which I could not find listed on the box. "No sir. Everything you need will be in the box." So I grabbed my box, went back to the returns department and waited in line for another ten minutes. I had picked up some extra printer cartridges and a couple other items, which she rang-up, along with my return. The return experience was complete and I had a new printer.

Being determined to be congenial helped me in this case. Being determined to not give up at every chance they told me "no" also helped. Had I become angry and made threats they would have not felt as badly telling me no, I suppose, and maybe would have never given in. I had gone to Target to save a few bucks but this inexpensive printer cost me two round trips to the store and about an hour of my time for the return.

Wait, there is more. When I got home to install the printer it did NOT have the cord required even though the clerk had said, "everything I would need was in the package." So, I went to a different store to pick up a USB cord, which was twice the price of the printer.

Trump Vs Rosie: Genus at Work

Perhaps the result of a slow news period right before and after Christmas/New Years 07; though it appears Congressional Change, the War, The Execution of one president and the death of another would take precedent. Yet "credible" news organizations on television are fueling the battle of Rosie and the Donald and devoting lengthy segments to them.

Trump, who is a master of promotion glommed on to the opportunity like a sucker fish on a barnacle-covered shark has managed to escalate the story by slinging more insults, which has resulted in a boost for The View and certainly reinforces Trumps tough-guy, never-back down image right before the next installment of the Apprentice.

As one who "gets off" on great marketing minds this battle ruse is genus. Though it’s denied that this fight was orchestrated I can imagine the conversation..."Ok you call me morally bankrupt, then I'll call you a pig. If anyone picks it up, you mock my hair, then I'll tell people your girlfriend can't look at your fat face. We should be able to keep this alive for weeks" If they did not have the conversation, they should have.

While the media is bringing experts together to debate the credibility of these mud slingers and whether or not they look like fools; the real fools are the media outlets themselves who have succumbed to covering a National Enquirer-like story and keeping it alive. Of course the same public who is drawn to flying hockey-sticks and fisticuffs on ice loves a Jerry Springeresque fight, which fuels networks to interview Trump and Rosie and giving them a platform to create more news.

Whether planned or simply an opportunity, which they stumbled into. As a marketer this is a world-class stunt worth millions in airtime.